Friday, July 15, 2016

Advice for a Successful Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common it seems. But, to be honest they aren't easy and the thought of it is a scary thing. Lucky for Clark and I, we had been dating for two and half years before we started long distance. We had the benefit of already knowing everything about each other from our personalties to they way we communicate. This strong background with each other helped our LDR a little bit when we were first starting out. Even so, I was still terrified and didn't want to leave Clark when it was time for us to leave for college. Not truly knowing what it was going to be like 569 miles away from him and if our relationship would suffer because of the distance was what scared me most. Now, having been long distance for our first year in college, we know what it's like and how to make it work. If you're considering a LDR and are unsure of how to make it work or even if you are already in one and want some advice, here are some helpful tips to get you started or back on the right track!

1. Have a conversation

The first thing to do when thinking about pursuing your relationship long distance is to make sure you're both on the same page. In other words, you need to have a conversation about your future; when will your distance end? what is the end goal of your long distance relationship? These types of questions will give each of you a better understanding of the others perspective of pursuing your relationship. If you are worried because you have not yet had this type of conversation, now is your time. Obviously if you are both willing to not give up and pursue your relationship no matter the distance, you can possibly see a future with this person.

2. Commitment

In order to make a long distance relationship work, there is no doubt that you have to be committed to each other and your relationship. Without this commitment there could be confusion and heartache. With commitment comes trust. When you trust your boyfriend/girlfriend you won't worry that he or she is going to do anything to sabotage your relationship.

3. Communication

Communication is a big part in any relationship but in a LDR you have to in order for it to work. Now I don't just mean the act of talking on the phone, skyping or texting. I mean the types of conversations you're having. Ask each other about their day, tell them a crazy story, ask for advice on school work, tell them how much they mean to you. These types of conversations keeps you a part of the other persons life. Since you are not physically together, communicating your love for one another is one of the main ways to show them your love. You also need to be sure and tell your partner how you're feeling or if something is wrong because since that are not there to see you they will have no way on knowing unless you tell them.

4. Don't let the rest of your life suffer

Just because you're in a LDR and miss your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't mean you have to mope around and be lonely all the time. You need to keep living your life, going to class/work and hanging out with your friends. Sure sometimes I don't feel like being social because I miss Clark but I never make that a habit. In fact, going out and and doing stuff with my friends is a great way to keep me busy and have fun instead of just thinking about how much I miss him. This is a big thing for both Clark and I, neither of us want the other to be sad because were not together and miss out on the fun opportunities that college has to offer.

5. Know that it will just stink at times

LDR's just plain stink. You're away from the person you love for long periods of time and miss them and just want to be with them. But you have to remember that you're going through this together and the moment you see them after a long time makes the distance absolutely worth it.

6. There are POSITIVES

Even though it can be hard at times there are so many positive things that come a long with a LDR. As I pointed out the importance of communication earlier, the good thing about an LDR is it forces you to communicate. There would basically be no relationship if you didn't and an LDR gives you the chance to have really strong communication with your partner which will definitely be beneficial for your relationship when you're no longer separated by distance. Another positive thing is how strong your relationship will become. You both are going through a hardship and are working through it together with the help of one another, trusting and leaning on each other. Once you over come the distance your relationship will be able to go through just about anything because of how strong it has become. One of my favorite things about an LDR is the traveling. Thinking about and planning trips for me to go see Clark and vice versa makes me so excited for our next adventure together.

Hopefully these tips helped if you're in a long distance relationship or are about to be in one! Just remember that the distance between you won't be forever, and if you care about this person enough, the distance won't matter because they are worth fighting for!!!

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