Advice for a Successful Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common it seems. But, to be honest they aren't easy and the thought of it is a scary thing. Lucky for Clark and I, we had been dating for two and half years before we started long distance. We had the benefit of already knowing everything about each other from our personalties to they way we communicate. This strong background with each other helped our LDR a little bit when we were first starting out. Even so, I was still terrified and didn't want to leave Clark when it was time for us to leave for college. Not truly knowing what it was going to be like 569 miles away from him and if our relationship would suffer because of the distance was what scared me most. Now, having been long distance for our first year in college, we know what it's like and how to make it work. If you're considering a LDR and are unsure of how to make it work or even if you are already in one and want some advice, here are some helpful tips to get you started or back on the right track!

1. Have a conversation

The first thing to do when thinking about pursuing your relationship long distance is to make sure you're both on the same page. In other words, you need to have a conversation about your future; when will your distance end? what is the end goal of your long distance relationship? These types of questions will give each of you a better understanding of the others perspective of pursuing your relationship. If you are worried because you have not yet had this type of conversation, now is your time. Obviously if you are both willing to not give up and pursue your relationship no matter the distance, you can possibly see a future with this person.

2. Commitment

In order to make a long distance relationship work, there is no doubt that you have to be committed to each other and your relationship. Without this commitment there could be confusion and heartache. With commitment comes trust. When you trust your boyfriend/girlfriend you won't worry that he or she is going to do anything to sabotage your relationship.

3. Communication

Communication is a big part in any relationship but in a LDR you have to in order for it to work. Now I don't just mean the act of talking on the phone, skyping or texting. I mean the types of conversations you're having. Ask each other about their day, tell them a crazy story, ask for advice on school work, tell them how much they mean to you. These types of conversations keeps you a part of the other persons life. Since you are not physically together, communicating your love for one another is one of the main ways to show them your love. You also need to be sure and tell your partner how you're feeling or if something is wrong because since that are not there to see you they will have no way on knowing unless you tell them.

4. Don't let the rest of your life suffer

Just because you're in a LDR and miss your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't mean you have to mope around and be lonely all the time. You need to keep living your life, going to class/work and hanging out with your friends. Sure sometimes I don't feel like being social because I miss Clark but I never make that a habit. In fact, going out and and doing stuff with my friends is a great way to keep me busy and have fun instead of just thinking about how much I miss him. This is a big thing for both Clark and I, neither of us want the other to be sad because were not together and miss out on the fun opportunities that college has to offer.

5. Know that it will just stink at times

LDR's just plain stink. You're away from the person you love for long periods of time and miss them and just want to be with them. But you have to remember that you're going through this together and the moment you see them after a long time makes the distance absolutely worth it.

6. There are POSITIVES

Even though it can be hard at times there are so many positive things that come a long with a LDR. As I pointed out the importance of communication earlier, the good thing about an LDR is it forces you to communicate. There would basically be no relationship if you didn't and an LDR gives you the chance to have really strong communication with your partner which will definitely be beneficial for your relationship when you're no longer separated by distance. Another positive thing is how strong your relationship will become. You both are going through a hardship and are working through it together with the help of one another, trusting and leaning on each other. Once you over come the distance your relationship will be able to go through just about anything because of how strong it has become. One of my favorite things about an LDR is the traveling. Thinking about and planning trips for me to go see Clark and vice versa makes me so excited for our next adventure together.

Hopefully these tips helped if you're in a long distance relationship or are about to be in one! Just remember that the distance between you won't be forever, and if you care about this person enough, the distance won't matter because they are worth fighting for!!!

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How to Survive Your Freshman Year of College

{ Thanks to Wonderlass for the photo! }

I remember it like yesterday, hugging my parents for the last time before they left me. As they pulled out of the parking lot I was officially on my own. A sudden panic overwhelmed me. I was at college and I had no idea what I was doing. I remember feeling like I was living a dream, that any minute they would come back and get me and take me home. Part of me couldn't believe my parents were actually going to just leave me there. Just like that I became responsible for myself, my parents were no longer there to help me, I had to do everything on my own and that scared me. The first few days of college I didn't know how I was going to survive. I missed my family and friends (and my bed) and I was terrified of my first day of classes. But now that a year of college has come and gone I wish I could have gone back to that moment and tell myself, "don't worry, you'll figure it out, it's way easier than you think." Freshman year of college is a lot of figuring it out as you go. However, somethings I wish I had known from that very day of my parents dropping me off. It would have saved me a lot of time and effort. And that's what I want to do for you, save you some time and effort by giving you some helpful tips to survive your first year of college!

Make Friends

The first thing anyone wants to do when they get to college is make friends and since everyone is in the same boat it's pretty easy to do. There will be a lot of events just for Freshmen to meet people. Even though this may sound weird or intimidating, you never know who you could meet and get to know. Lucky for me, my roommate and I became really good friends very fast, so we were always together. One thing we did to meet girls in our dorm was leave our door open. This gave us the chance to talk to girls as they walked by and invite anyone in to meet us. Another opportunity that's great for meeting people is joining a club or an organization. For me, I joined the Greek Community which has given me the opportunity to make some awesome friends!

Manage Your Time

If you only take away one thing from this I hope it would be this tip. Managing your time is such a big skill that you need to learn how to do. There are so many things going on from classes to your social life to other commitments, knowing how to plan your day to fit in all the things you need to get done will make your life a lot less stressful. To do this, you need to be organized, something like a planner or agenda will help a lot with this. You can write in your homework due dates and any important events so you can plan ahead when it comes to your school work. In college, you always have something to do (or that you should be doing) so planning ahead will be very helpful.

Always Go to Class

Sometimes going to class is the last thing you want to do. But as hard as it is, fight the urge and go. Missing class in college is completely different than missing class in high school. There's no makeup work and missing a class worth of notes is a big deal. It makes a big difference when it comes to studying; it's hard to study when there's a big chunk of information missing from your notes. While we're on the topic of note taking, taking good notes is obviously pretty important. Write down everything, be present while you're in class and ask questions. When you pay attention while writing down what you hear and ask when you don't understand something, studying becomes a lot easier. Even though asking a question in a big auditorium can be intimidating, you have nothing to worry about, no one is judging you, no one cares, and half of them aren't even paying attention anyway.

Review Before and After Class

I struggled with this a lot. As much as I knew it would benefit me, I usually wanted to take the few minutes before or after class to relax before I had to do my next task of the day. But...when I read the chapter we were going to discuss in class before and reviewed over my notes after, I always felt more prepared for my tests and felt like I actually knew the information when I was studying. And when it comes to studying, don't procrastinate, it will definitely hurt you. It's not like high school where you can just study the night before and be fine.

Meet Your Professors

The first two weeks of classes make it a priority to go meet and talk with your professors. You will benefit greatly when your teacher knows your name and who you are in such a big class. Simply introduce yourself and tell them about who you are; just have a normal conversation! Your professors will give you their office hours on the first day when they give you their syllabus. Oh yeah...use your syllabus too!

Do Your Homework and Extra Credit Opportunities

Even though there isn't that much homework or extra credit in college, when there is always do it. You never know when you're going to bomb a test or miss a pop quiz. And half credit is always better than zero credit so do it even if it will be late!

Check Your Email Everyday

Every morning, when you're laying in bed or eating breakfast, scrolling through social media, make it a point to check your email too. This is how your professors communicate with you. And it's always nice to wake up to an email that says class is cancelled or your upcoming homework due date is pushed back. :)

Stay Healthy 

As busy as your life will be, it's important to take care of yourself. Eating bad is an easy habit to pick up in college so try to eat some fruits and vegetables every now and again. Be active and go to the gym or join an intramural sports team. The Freshman 15 is a real thing when you don't take care of your body like you should!

Sleep

Most people say sleep doesn't exist in college which is true, unless you make it a priority. If you manage your time right sleeping shouldn't be an issue. Not to say that some nights you might be going to bed when the sun is coming up, but everyone has a few of those!

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